… the end of everything? I never thought that I’d be writing about this… I never thought it would completely shake me up… it all started with a call last night from my cousin, he said Kaka (my maternal grandfather) passed away… I dint feel a thing then, I was just concerned about how to break the news to my mom… but she surprisingly took it quite well… my parents left immediately for Goregaon, me and my bro decided to go the next morning…
I went to bed and I kept searching for memories of him… the only thing I could remember was him yelling at us to keep the noise down, not to touch a certain things… he always complained… he was always angry…he was very strict, he gave the same pose in all the pictures… was very very uptight… and yea, he LOVED cricket and movies! Thanks to Neo, he spent his last days watching reruns of all the old matches he missed swearing … I met him just 20 days back at my brother’s engagement, he was very happy and somehow he was different… he was laughing and having fun. He actually spoke to me, hugged me, he knew my name… some thing that had not happened in 26 yrs! That’s how I remembered him… he was a happy man…
I went to Goregaon the next day, I remember that house to be a very happy place… all of us have a lot of fun when we meetup… today, It was sad… in the middle of the room was his lifeless body… he looked calm and at peace. I still dint feel like crying… When they started taking him away everyone started to cry louder… I was crying too… for the man I never really got to know…
I was really pissed at one of the “rituals” that took place amidst all the sadness… my grandma… a frail 85 year old lady was crying hysterically for the man she spent 76 years of her married life with… a group of 5 women walked her to the dead body, and wiped off her Sindoor and broke her bangles n stuff… the entire scene was cruel! It angered me, it hurt me… I wanted to yell at those women and ask them to leave Ajji alone, but someone behind me said… this is how it’s supposed to be… she was miserable already, this made it worse! 76 years of a perfect married life, raising 9 children and their children is not gona go away with this cruel act… It was totally uncalled for…
After a few hours, what came home was a pot full of ashes… he was gone, forever…. When I left from there, I looked at the chair he always used to sit on … it was empty… again a set off women started crying loudly … I could only imagine Kaka say, Hey! Keep the noise down !!! Am sure gona miss his presence…
- May the departed soul rest in peace.
Job...
Job!!! One of the most important things in life, so much that for some it is a matter of pride, some are addicted to it , some do it coz its cool and for some it’s a necessity. Your job gets u the money and a sense of self independence but along with that what u get is problems, headaches, office bitches, name calling, jealousy and above all some of the most difficult people to deal with! I got my very first job on 18th Sep’ 06, and I’ll never forget this date for the rest of my life… I was the happiest then n so were my parents and others who really cared for me… I mentioned bout ur job being ur pride? I work for ICICI BANK, one of the very well-known banks in India and people are awestruck when I mention I work for ICICI BANK, and some even question my credibility to get this job… what matters is I have it… this job has thought me a lot. I have come out of this over protected shell and am out in this big bad corporate world, where everyone is out to get you,while I always thought the world was a better place… its been 10 months since, I have grown with it, I am addicted to it, learned from it and absolutely loved every bit of it… And in spite of it all, I stick to saying, I Laaauuuuu it!!!!!
It all started with training on 3rd Oct’ 06, Training period was fun... learned almost everything bout shares n stuff n actually learnt how rich some people are! Some people have shares worth 2 crores lying in their a\c and they don’t even care bout it, n yea this is a very well known person, I'll loose my job if I say who it is. But how much money man! God cant be so unfair!!! I would go for shopping sprees all the time if I had money like dat! Some people are lucky... Some dream bout being (am one of em) lucky and some just work there asses off (want to be one of em)to get where they r today! Getting back to my training sessions...My trainer is so sweet and caring, So much that we are all convinced he is Gay! I mean C'mon he sits with his legs crossed, has tears of happiness when we all get appreciated for our good work, who else does dat??? A 6 feet tall, extremely fair good looking man who favors guys over good looking gals (like me ;)) U still think am kidding? And then… I had this mammoth crush on my softskills trainer, until the day … he wore a Red polo neck T-shirt, Grey Trousers, Formal black shoes… OMG!!! Even thinking bout it makes me sick! Why God? Why? About the other 9 in d batch am the 10th and d prettiest by d way... Hehe.... There was an 11th guy named Faham who had to leave the batch midway coz of sum reason, n I was so happy dat day!!! Reason? He used to keep staring at me all the time! Man I used to get so uncomfortable...n every time I looked at him with ANGER he smiled at me like I was gona run into his arms or something(La la la... lala....) UGGGH! Disgusting!!! Next Rehan... he looks like a retard but he thinks he is better looking than Tom or even Enrique for that matter. He asks so many irrelevant questions...Am sure he must have asked a question and not cried when he was born! He is like Paresh Rawals character in the movie Judai, worst than dat probably! Jayesh n Prasad nice polite guys, have nothing against them...they r like d sidies of the class. Saurabh.... he is the only cute n decent guy in the batch and He is married (Damn it!!!), he looks like a school boy though.... the only guy at work I talk to without my famous sarcasm or attitude hehe… then there is Nitesh.. Man!I am amazed by how much nonsense this guy can talk! Bout the Gals in d batch… there’s Radhika who I think must hv topped all the exams she ever wrote starting from nursery. She just has to be the best all the time and gives us the u r not worth it look everytime we crack a joke. How can sum1 not have a sense of humor??? Pallavi, don’t even know if she’s there in class or not. She’s lost in her own world, is super dumb but acts like she knows it all!!! Ressy, she smells of coconut oil so much that we think she bathes in it everyday! Ashwini I surprisingly get along with her, but I figured she lies a lot so stay away from her a bit these days. It’s been 10 months since we started working and she has taken sick leaves for almost every disease known to mankind! Chitra is kinda shrewd and boring! I hate the journey back home with her! Yea coz she tells me bout how she woke up at 6:06 am, brushed at 6:08 am, bathed at 6:17 am... how she sneezed 18 times in the day...imagine listening to her daily routine like dat!!! ...Even interrupting her doesn’t help, she just goes on n on n on…..Slow Death.....
Moving on to my stint with stardom! Yea dat happened at work! During training there was this shoot that took place for the orientation cd (in which ppl go gaga bout icicibank). It was normal day at training, I was dressed in my best shirt n trousers (yea I had to dunk my jeans n T-shirt, sniff sniff) I was walking to my class when KP my BRM kept staring at me all the time! I got a lil conscious bout a women staring at me for so long, Then she walked up to me n said she would like me to act in the cd coz I was pretty (Finally somebody agreed!hehehe...), n yea she said dat! She explained the part to me. I had to walkup to my desk, put on the headphones n say Good Morning! Welcome to ICICIBANK, How may I help you? Sounds simple isn’t it ? Well I realized it isn’t! I felt like a star when it all started, and then....They made me say it 50000+ times, from different angles.... My legs where aching coz they made me walk thru d entrance a million times and my cheeks where hurting coz I had to give dat super fake smile! Trust me, if they had d rite tools they would’ve modified each n every part of my body! Ask me bout the experience I would say it was bad! I would never wana shoot for anything ever again! After the whole thing was done KP walked up to me n said ur look gr8 in all d shots! n trust me all my pain went away :). And bout all d gals in d class, they got J coz of this n wouldn’t talk to me! How small can some people be? I had one more shoot like that recently, but it was not as torturing… it was done in 15 mins sharp! I had to say “I HAVE THE POWER”, and the videos were shown during the town hall… ever since I have random people walking up to me saying “you have the power huh?” (with a stupid grin)I can only acknowledge it with a smile(in spite of wanting to whack them in the face with a frying pan!)… to top it all, they also put pictures of me through out the office with the same caption… yea, they made me a star… but it’s annoying!
Other than my batch met a whole bunch of people when we went on the floor for the real deal… It all started with all the guys drooling over me, staying away from me coz they thought I had an attitude, which is partially true ;)… I had to announce I had a BF that’s when all the drooling stopped, had to do it coz none of the guys were my type… This was the story 10 months back, I know them all now n they are all sweethearts, and work is so much fun because of them… that doesn’t mean I trust all of them though… The gals are also fine, the major bitching happens in this part… it bothered me a lot sometime back, now I just consider it a part of my professional life! Some people are just never happy with whatever you do, some just have a problem with everything you do kinds… Not caring is easier; I’ll just not be my self if I changed myself for everything they said… But still have a lot of fun at work, irrespective of what lies beneath…every day is a experience .My previous TL was an angel… she was calm, composed, understanding, appreciative, kind and simply lovable… I enjoyed everyday of work with her, she made my b’day special even when she was not my TL anymore, some people are born angels… Bout my current TL, She’s a professional bitch although I prefer calling her just the later…she is inconsiderate, manipulative, unapproachable and annoyingly stubborn! She didn’t even care to wish me on my b’day… I call her when am sick asking for a leave, n all she cares bout is a medical certificate to prove it! That’s how selfish and inconsiderate she is… I hate to be a part of her team, coz she get appreciated because of the work that I do, n she doesn’t even consider appreciating me for it! She’s like a parasite, thriving on my effort! This is the harsh truth bout the professional life that I learnt, or maybe this is the price you pay for being at the bottom of the corporate ladder…
Some sweet memories of my job include my very first salary, the bonus in April and all the appreciations I got from different people for different reasons… the appreciations just makes u wana work harder u know, it’s the sweetest part of your job… Its the freedom and power I feel when I shop with my hard earned money...This is the story of my professional life, and this is only the beginning… have lots to learn and implement, have loads of people to meet and take a step forward to move up the corporate ladder… all the things above gimi a sense of satisfaction, and a new zeal to goto work every morning and give it my best no matter what… my job is my definition of independence, my job is my expression, my job is happiness, my job is my life…
It all started with training on 3rd Oct’ 06, Training period was fun... learned almost everything bout shares n stuff n actually learnt how rich some people are! Some people have shares worth 2 crores lying in their a\c and they don’t even care bout it, n yea this is a very well known person, I'll loose my job if I say who it is. But how much money man! God cant be so unfair!!! I would go for shopping sprees all the time if I had money like dat! Some people are lucky... Some dream bout being (am one of em) lucky and some just work there asses off (want to be one of em)to get where they r today! Getting back to my training sessions...My trainer is so sweet and caring, So much that we are all convinced he is Gay! I mean C'mon he sits with his legs crossed, has tears of happiness when we all get appreciated for our good work, who else does dat??? A 6 feet tall, extremely fair good looking man who favors guys over good looking gals (like me ;)) U still think am kidding? And then… I had this mammoth crush on my softskills trainer, until the day … he wore a Red polo neck T-shirt, Grey Trousers, Formal black shoes… OMG!!! Even thinking bout it makes me sick! Why God? Why? About the other 9 in d batch am the 10th and d prettiest by d way... Hehe.... There was an 11th guy named Faham who had to leave the batch midway coz of sum reason, n I was so happy dat day!!! Reason? He used to keep staring at me all the time! Man I used to get so uncomfortable...n every time I looked at him with ANGER he smiled at me like I was gona run into his arms or something(La la la... lala....) UGGGH! Disgusting!!! Next Rehan... he looks like a retard but he thinks he is better looking than Tom or even Enrique for that matter. He asks so many irrelevant questions...Am sure he must have asked a question and not cried when he was born! He is like Paresh Rawals character in the movie Judai, worst than dat probably! Jayesh n Prasad nice polite guys, have nothing against them...they r like d sidies of the class. Saurabh.... he is the only cute n decent guy in the batch and He is married (Damn it!!!), he looks like a school boy though.... the only guy at work I talk to without my famous sarcasm or attitude hehe… then there is Nitesh.. Man!I am amazed by how much nonsense this guy can talk! Bout the Gals in d batch… there’s Radhika who I think must hv topped all the exams she ever wrote starting from nursery. She just has to be the best all the time and gives us the u r not worth it look everytime we crack a joke. How can sum1 not have a sense of humor??? Pallavi, don’t even know if she’s there in class or not. She’s lost in her own world, is super dumb but acts like she knows it all!!! Ressy, she smells of coconut oil so much that we think she bathes in it everyday! Ashwini I surprisingly get along with her, but I figured she lies a lot so stay away from her a bit these days. It’s been 10 months since we started working and she has taken sick leaves for almost every disease known to mankind! Chitra is kinda shrewd and boring! I hate the journey back home with her! Yea coz she tells me bout how she woke up at 6:06 am, brushed at 6:08 am, bathed at 6:17 am... how she sneezed 18 times in the day...imagine listening to her daily routine like dat!!! ...Even interrupting her doesn’t help, she just goes on n on n on…..Slow Death.....
Moving on to my stint with stardom! Yea dat happened at work! During training there was this shoot that took place for the orientation cd (in which ppl go gaga bout icicibank). It was normal day at training, I was dressed in my best shirt n trousers (yea I had to dunk my jeans n T-shirt, sniff sniff) I was walking to my class when KP my BRM kept staring at me all the time! I got a lil conscious bout a women staring at me for so long, Then she walked up to me n said she would like me to act in the cd coz I was pretty (Finally somebody agreed!hehehe...), n yea she said dat! She explained the part to me. I had to walkup to my desk, put on the headphones n say Good Morning! Welcome to ICICIBANK, How may I help you? Sounds simple isn’t it ? Well I realized it isn’t! I felt like a star when it all started, and then....They made me say it 50000+ times, from different angles.... My legs where aching coz they made me walk thru d entrance a million times and my cheeks where hurting coz I had to give dat super fake smile! Trust me, if they had d rite tools they would’ve modified each n every part of my body! Ask me bout the experience I would say it was bad! I would never wana shoot for anything ever again! After the whole thing was done KP walked up to me n said ur look gr8 in all d shots! n trust me all my pain went away :). And bout all d gals in d class, they got J coz of this n wouldn’t talk to me! How small can some people be? I had one more shoot like that recently, but it was not as torturing… it was done in 15 mins sharp! I had to say “I HAVE THE POWER”, and the videos were shown during the town hall… ever since I have random people walking up to me saying “you have the power huh?” (with a stupid grin)I can only acknowledge it with a smile(in spite of wanting to whack them in the face with a frying pan!)… to top it all, they also put pictures of me through out the office with the same caption… yea, they made me a star… but it’s annoying!
Other than my batch met a whole bunch of people when we went on the floor for the real deal… It all started with all the guys drooling over me, staying away from me coz they thought I had an attitude, which is partially true ;)… I had to announce I had a BF that’s when all the drooling stopped, had to do it coz none of the guys were my type… This was the story 10 months back, I know them all now n they are all sweethearts, and work is so much fun because of them… that doesn’t mean I trust all of them though… The gals are also fine, the major bitching happens in this part… it bothered me a lot sometime back, now I just consider it a part of my professional life! Some people are just never happy with whatever you do, some just have a problem with everything you do kinds… Not caring is easier; I’ll just not be my self if I changed myself for everything they said… But still have a lot of fun at work, irrespective of what lies beneath…every day is a experience .My previous TL was an angel… she was calm, composed, understanding, appreciative, kind and simply lovable… I enjoyed everyday of work with her, she made my b’day special even when she was not my TL anymore, some people are born angels… Bout my current TL, She’s a professional bitch although I prefer calling her just the later…she is inconsiderate, manipulative, unapproachable and annoyingly stubborn! She didn’t even care to wish me on my b’day… I call her when am sick asking for a leave, n all she cares bout is a medical certificate to prove it! That’s how selfish and inconsiderate she is… I hate to be a part of her team, coz she get appreciated because of the work that I do, n she doesn’t even consider appreciating me for it! She’s like a parasite, thriving on my effort! This is the harsh truth bout the professional life that I learnt, or maybe this is the price you pay for being at the bottom of the corporate ladder…
Some sweet memories of my job include my very first salary, the bonus in April and all the appreciations I got from different people for different reasons… the appreciations just makes u wana work harder u know, it’s the sweetest part of your job… Its the freedom and power I feel when I shop with my hard earned money...This is the story of my professional life, and this is only the beginning… have lots to learn and implement, have loads of people to meet and take a step forward to move up the corporate ladder… all the things above gimi a sense of satisfaction, and a new zeal to goto work every morning and give it my best no matter what… my job is my definition of independence, my job is my expression, my job is happiness, my job is my life…
HATE...
Hatred is an emotion of intense revulsion, distaste, enmity, or antipathy for a person, thing, or phenomenon, generally attributed to a desire to avoid, restrict, remove, or destroy the hated object. Hatred is also among the most common emotions that humans experience. It can be based on fear of an object or past negative consequences of dealing with that object. Hatred is often described as the opposite of love or friendship. People may feel conflicting and complicated emotions or thoughts involving hate, as in a love-hate relationship…
Too many ways to describe it… but this is one emotion that has been my friend for a long time now… I Hate my Nose, I Hate these hypocrites, I Hate lies , I Hate useless people, I duno y but I absolutely Hate Himesh Reshamiya!(I think its his face, or his voice… I duno!) It’s so easy to HATE… Just a tiny mistake n u end up hating ppl for the rest of there lives! It’s easy to blame, than take the blame u see… I have my own list of ppl I HATE(must admit, a long one), b4 they got on this list they where on the elite list of friends n lovers, now thinking bout them make me sick! Reason? They just dint do things my way (hehe)! Hate some coz they were just not good enough friends (let’s say liars), Hate some coz they hurt me real bad, Hate some coz they just walked out on me for no fault of mine… Hate some who just dint do things right… Hate some coz they misjudged me…Hate some for not knowing love…. Hate some coz they hurt my people!
I’ll give u one example here…. An example of how n y some ppl hate “ME”. Some gals hate me coz their BF’s gimi more attention. Coz am a better friend to the man in their life, how is it my fault teme? U can’t handle ur guy, well don’t u blame me for that lady! I was just being a good friend to him n nothing else… n for friendships sake I take that shit from these chicks, n there I have them hating me! Can u beat that? Well Gal…Spend less time in the parlor n more time with ur BF, that’s the solution, yelling at me isn’t! Some hate my coz am super at my work (or is it jealousy?) and get appreciated for it .Some just hate me coz I get along with ppl too easily , I mean c’mon.. its takes a hell lota effort to put up will all kinds of ppl! U shud pity me n not hate me, I ALWAYS get away or get into things! The effort is indeed painful, trust me! Some hate me coz I reach out to ppl, some even call me pretentious coz of it … But I do end up caring for the wrong set of ppl sometimes I agree. Maybe am just too lonely. Some hate me for the way I look, talk, walk, eat…. Am sure there r a few who hate me for the way I breath probably! I don’t give a tiny rat’s ass to dat!
I read this somewhere, the reason someone ever hates u, its coz that person wants to be like u…. n I like to believe dat( maybe am just naïve enough beleive dat dis line make me feel powerful!) N bout ppl I hate, well… I cant help it u see, some ppl are annoying! The suckiset part is, ppl u hate will always REMAIN the ppl u hate, n its easiest to add ppl to this list…. The reverse never happens no matter how hard u try….unless…. u r in love! Man dat just gives u the license to be stupid, idiotic, foolish and all the things crappy…. n dis thing cald self-respect is left with no self and no respect at all! I can go on n on bout his thing I guess…I had so decided to hate someone for the rest of my life, but my filthy lil heart just won’t allow me to… I still act like a love struck puppy with this person, This is so not me! I have said this b4 Love sucks! Now am gona say Hate Rules! I duno y, but I find dis intoxicatingly liberating ! I love to Hate, YAY!!! While u ponder over that, I'll go get myself a life...
More laters…
Too many ways to describe it… but this is one emotion that has been my friend for a long time now… I Hate my Nose, I Hate these hypocrites, I Hate lies , I Hate useless people, I duno y but I absolutely Hate Himesh Reshamiya!(I think its his face, or his voice… I duno!) It’s so easy to HATE… Just a tiny mistake n u end up hating ppl for the rest of there lives! It’s easy to blame, than take the blame u see… I have my own list of ppl I HATE(must admit, a long one), b4 they got on this list they where on the elite list of friends n lovers, now thinking bout them make me sick! Reason? They just dint do things my way (hehe)! Hate some coz they were just not good enough friends (let’s say liars), Hate some coz they hurt me real bad, Hate some coz they just walked out on me for no fault of mine… Hate some who just dint do things right… Hate some coz they misjudged me…Hate some for not knowing love…. Hate some coz they hurt my people!
I’ll give u one example here…. An example of how n y some ppl hate “ME”. Some gals hate me coz their BF’s gimi more attention. Coz am a better friend to the man in their life, how is it my fault teme? U can’t handle ur guy, well don’t u blame me for that lady! I was just being a good friend to him n nothing else… n for friendships sake I take that shit from these chicks, n there I have them hating me! Can u beat that? Well Gal…Spend less time in the parlor n more time with ur BF, that’s the solution, yelling at me isn’t! Some hate my coz am super at my work (or is it jealousy?) and get appreciated for it .Some just hate me coz I get along with ppl too easily , I mean c’mon.. its takes a hell lota effort to put up will all kinds of ppl! U shud pity me n not hate me, I ALWAYS get away or get into things! The effort is indeed painful, trust me! Some hate me coz I reach out to ppl, some even call me pretentious coz of it … But I do end up caring for the wrong set of ppl sometimes I agree. Maybe am just too lonely. Some hate me for the way I look, talk, walk, eat…. Am sure there r a few who hate me for the way I breath probably! I don’t give a tiny rat’s ass to dat!
I read this somewhere, the reason someone ever hates u, its coz that person wants to be like u…. n I like to believe dat( maybe am just naïve enough beleive dat dis line make me feel powerful!) N bout ppl I hate, well… I cant help it u see, some ppl are annoying! The suckiset part is, ppl u hate will always REMAIN the ppl u hate, n its easiest to add ppl to this list…. The reverse never happens no matter how hard u try….unless…. u r in love! Man dat just gives u the license to be stupid, idiotic, foolish and all the things crappy…. n dis thing cald self-respect is left with no self and no respect at all! I can go on n on bout his thing I guess…I had so decided to hate someone for the rest of my life, but my filthy lil heart just won’t allow me to… I still act like a love struck puppy with this person, This is so not me! I have said this b4 Love sucks! Now am gona say Hate Rules! I duno y, but I find dis intoxicatingly liberating ! I love to Hate, YAY!!! While u ponder over that, I'll go get myself a life...
More laters…
Love...
That’s the definition I found on Wikipedia, if you ask me to define Love… I’d say it SUCKS! It’s is nothing but a reason to be an Emotional Fool! Smiley face, Sleepless nights, Infinite phone calls and the most important of em all “Changed priorities”. It is indeed a beautiful feeling to be in love and to be loved… n given the choice and opportunity I would wana be there once again. This lil heartaches just make u stronger is wot I believe in. Just a while ago I was right there, experiencing this façade cald love n here I am today wondering where the hell it disappeared! Am wondering if I am indeed too egoistic, arrogant or irrational to make me eligible for the relationship(humse ka bhoooool hui ?)… I probably never gave it a thot that there is a good chance this might not work, coz in my mind.... it was nothing less than perfect! It was all “supposed” to be “FUN” and am supposed to laugh at it now(full on Mogambo khush hua style!!!) I am back to playing my best friend part… n as a friend I am important is wot I am made to believe (I bought that crap! How naïve can a person be?)
It’s not as bad, but then like I said the changed priorities decide to take there revenge just then!I look back on all the things that I missed out on, I missed out on meaningful conversations with my friends n family members coz I was so busy talking to dis person 24\7, on prospective positive relationships that "could have" lasted coz I believed I had dat “Special Someone” .I missed out on so much coz I was too busy thinking of his(our) life, his(our) problems, his career, his(our) family… everything was “His” n In between all this I completely forgot that I had a life of my own to create …. I got nobody to blame here but me n like I said before, I was a Fool(LOVEFOOL)…(how much ever I hate to acknowledge it)but to an extend I wud say all this pretty much sucks coz I feel like a looser sometimes…, but still No regrets is the way it is... or lets say that’s how I wud prefer to keep it...
Life after all this is FINE(Ya Right!)… its not the end of the world really(Ya Right!). Not thinking bout it is easier. Wot happened is sad n heartbreaking…but the idea is to let go n find love again n I strongly believe in it. I finally hv sum “ME” time n time to decide “MY” priorities… Sad song are nice, trust me I never heard dat many old number’s …Mera kuch samaan... is a current favorite… Nostalgia is my new found friend … I realized one thing very recently though… One day I was Crying, Crying coz I thot life was being unfair to me, Crying coz I thot I deserved to be happy, Crying coz I wanted to have things my way, Crying coz I felt alone… I was crying n my dad walked into my room… he walked up to me n said wot was I crying for? He just said to me, Tell me wotever it is , n I’ll do wotever it takes to get it for u !!! How I wanted to tell him everything!!! I wanted him to go out there and kick some serious ass(my daddy strongest kinds!)… I wanted him to go out there n punish ppl for breaking his lil princess’s heart! But I obviously cudnt tell him … But this changed my life forver! Coz I realized wot unconditional love means...I was out there trying so hard to be perfect, be everything people wanted me to be....I was out there looking for love n didn’t realize it was rite there! I was wasting my time on these relationships n these friends who hurt me from time n time again n there I had my parents who were always there for me. To be happy for me, to support me, to gimi all the money I ever needed to shop n hv fun with my friends, to pay my endless cell phone bills, to Love me unconditionally… I decided from then on, if it was anyone who mattered more in my life, it has gotto be my mom n dad! To hell with BF’s! To hell with RELATIONSHIPS! To hell with CRYING!
At least you can predict this every year
Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly
I can’t get it to speak
Maybe if I knew all the things it took to save us
I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
Look in your eyes to see something about me
I’m standing on the edge and I don’t know what else to give...
